Daniel Etim-Effiong, a prominent Nollywood actor, recently shared a thought-provoking conversation about cultural expectations in marriage on his podcast. The actor humorously questioned his wife, Toyosi, about why she no longer kneels to serve him, a tradition she observed during their traditional wedding ceremony.
Daniel jokingly asked Toyosi, “Why can’t you kneel down and serve me? You know when we did our traditional wedding, you knelt down to give me cake. So why haven’t you ever done that since after our marriage?” Toyosi responded by reminding Daniel that he had never knelt for her since proposing.
The conversation took a deeper turn as Daniel defended his stance, citing cultural traditions. “I haven’t done that since proposing because traditionally the man shouldn’t be kneeling. I’m your lord and you fail to recognise that, I’m your husbandman.” However, Toyosi pointed out that kneeling is not part of Daniel’s Efik culture and questioned where the idea came from.
Daniel explained that although kneeling is not part of his Efik culture, he has adopted some Yoruba traditions, including bowing to greet elders, due to his marriage to Toyosi, a Yoruba woman. He argued that if Toyosi kneels for elders, she should also kneel for him.
The conversation highlights the complexities of cultural expectations in marriage and challenges the notion of traditional gender roles. Daniel and Toyosi’s discussion encourages couples to rethink their cultural traditions and expectations, promoting a more nuanced understanding of marriage and relationships.